Dear Owner of the Chrysler Concorde That Was Parked Near Me at Target This Week:
Many, many thanks for clearly posting your driving practices on your car. If I found myself unsure about the way you drive because of, well, the way you drive, you’ve provided me with the very helpful option of a statement of your driving credo right there above your license plate. While I like to assume that your motivation is altruistic, I’m wondering about a few things:
1. Is your statement’s placement calculated so that, say, when the police run your plates, they can also see that you are clearly a benevolent intersection approacher?
2. What do you mean by “the” yellow light. Is this the royal “the,” as in “I never run ‘the’ yellow light because that’s ‘the’ rule?” Or perhaps it’s referring to one specific yellow light that you have deemed the yellow light you will not run and the rest of us have to find it somehow, like a treasure hunt?
3. Using my semi-rusty logic skills, does this mean you run the red light?
Thanking you for the food for thought and hoping that many more drivers will make their driving intentions so plain (“I will cut you off”; “I am morally obligated to not use my blinker”; “I do not plan to move out of the left lane even though I’ve topped out at 60 mph”; “I will weave. I just will”; etc.),
A. Olson
theopenletterblog 